“I could totally – get fit, solve the world’s problems, figure out my next career move, or at least finish a book, INSERT YOURS – if I had some ME time!”
I hear this a lot from my friends. Beautiful women in their 30’s, 40s, 50’s and beyond who are talented, committed and courageous all longing for a bit of ME time and space.
“Just some time out from my hectic schedule and everyone else’s expectations.”
There isn’t any one answer to this issue – we can’t bend time (yet)! But what I know is that taking the time to get clear on how you want to feel everyday (not just what you want someday) is not a selfish act. It deserves you carving out some ME time. When you know how you want to feel everyday you can give to yourself and others more easily and with more grace. And less surly face (ok, maybe that’s just me).
Things flow easier. You become more productive in all areas of your life. The truth is that a constant connection with the feelings you have deliberately chosen to feel acts like a guide. For me everything is easier. Because I have made “ease” one of my core desired feelings it is a litmus test. When I have a big decision that needs to be made I ask “Is this going to create ease?” If no, well forget it then. That doesn’t mean I avoid challenges. Challenge and ease can definitely be friends. It just means that I do not want to encourage and make room for struggle in everything I do. Struggle may find me, but it is easier to give it up than it used to be. I am fully conscious and on board with ease.
How do you frame your life this way? I spend a few moments every morning consciously bringing my core desired feelings into my awareness. I let myself feel them – even if the cat has just vomited and I need to be out of the door in 10 mins – I take time to feel ease in my body (unless the cat vomit is on my shoes, in which case I attend to that first). How does ‘ease’ feel for example? Well to me it is kind of slow and relaxed and like a Sunday morning lie in. It feels like everything going well for me that day with minimum stress. It isn’t me in control mode like a mad thing running here and there trying to make all the bits fit like a giant Jenga puzzle. That analogy comes easily to me because it is what my life used to feel like.
We all risk depletion in this hectic, crazy world we live in. The information age is well and truly upon us and we can feel overloaded and overwhelmed with possibilities, choices and demands. Being clear on how we want to feel is a way forward, whether you call yourself a seeker (just trying to be more of who you could be) or a goal setter (wanting to achieve it all this time around on the off chance reincarnation doesn’t exist). It is a grounding practice that creates a daily sanctuary and some lights on the pathway ahead. I can’t see the future, but I can feel my way to my next step and trust my feelings to guide me further.
If you want to learn more about the process for discovering your own Core Desire Feelings please visit my Desire Map workshop events at http://www.annetterudd.com/events/